|Kombucha brewing. Did you know kombucha is $4 a bottle? Did you know I'm super cheap?? Yeah.|
|Finished kombucha plus SCOBY for my friend Tory. Yay!|
|Mooch after trying kombucha. Not a fan. Butterbean loves it but she's a weirdo.|
She is also my complete crunchy/granola girl crush.
|Butterbean at her preschool Thanksgiving feast. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THE CUTE.|
|Girly dance parties in our living room. Amazing. PS That ghe-tto side table and couch are gone, thank you baby Jesus.|
A lot more dancing, a lot more changes, a lot more ....
The girls are adjusting so well and I tell them "We can think of this as an adventure". I hope to inspire them while we go onto this next chapter. And yet the nurturer in me hates to take them out of their comfort zone. Their Dad now lives in a different home. We are moving out of our house in the new year. So many changes for them, and while I know they must be hard on my girls I can feel all of this guiding us towards something better. I know from now on I won't chase something that can't be, I will put myself and my girls first, I will face hard things and work through them. I'm ready.
I also find myself having lots of deep conversations with people lately about if monogamy does or does not work, which I find very funny. I've become kind of a touch stone for this. Women tend to either say to me "Oh I have days I could absolutely divorce my husband" or women who say "I just can't walk away from all I have invested in this". It's a very odd place to be in in a conversation. The latter I want to say, you do realize this isn't a business transaction? You only have one little life to live here, you might as well be happy. The former I want to say, every married person has those days. If the good outweigh the bad, it's worth hanging in there. I got to a point where the bad far outweighed the good - it was a matter of survival. And despite the biological clues I do think monogamy works, if the circumstances are right. My parents have been married almost 40 years and are insanely in love and each other's best friends. I have always had a feeling that my path towards that would be twisty-turny, and that's ok. It's part of what will ultimately make me who I am supposed to be.
And until then, I bake bread, and take my dog for hikes, and play and craft and laugh with my perfect girls, and rub my sister's bellies where my nieces/nephews are growing, and am generally excited about life and love and the whole crazy lot of it. Bring it on.